To Love You More
by MoonAngelMusic
Summary: Severus is given a second chance to be forgiven by Lily. He's ready to work to have her friendship back, even if it means turning his back on everything his house stands for.
1. Chapter 1

**To Love You More**

**Author's note: This story came to me after reading a few fanfictions about Lily and Severus and what could have happened. This is an A/U story, and the scene from the hallway is made up from memory. A lot of it isn't like in the book, but I read the books in French, so I could only translate in my mind from memory (the book is hidden in a box right now, I'm in the middle of moving." **

**The characters are J.K Rowling's, I obviously do not own them, otherwise I'd be filthy rich. But I'm just another woman with a kid, trying to make ends meet. The song "To Love You More" is Celine Dion's, written by Edgar Bronfman Jr and David Foster. **

_Take me back in the arms I love  
Need me like you did before_

"Life will be so different now", wrote Lily Evans in her diary. "I just lost my best friend, who decided to be on You-Know-Who's side. He called me a "Mudblood". Me! The only person who he has close to, the only one who defended him against bullies. I still can't believe it! After all these years, he made his choice clear after I heard him calling me that foul name, when I tried to defend him against Toerag Potter and his good for nothing best friend Sirius I'm Better Looking Than Thou Black. My best friend will would always come before my housemates, but apparently, all this is worth nothing in the end. I hope that, maybe, one day, Severus sees that the choice he made was the wrong one and that he comes back to the Light side. I know I will not survive the war that is upon us. Being Muggleborn means I'll most likely be the first one to go, once I graduate. Maybe _that_ will wake him up..."

Sighing, Lily closes her diary and put the ink and quill away. Only a few hours before, she had witnessed her best friend being bullied and then she lost him. James Potter had come in the common room after torturing Severus to tell her to forget about the greasy git and if she ever needed a shoulder to cry on...

She litterally stood up, stomped her way to the Griffindor Chaser, her eyes blazing and punched him square on his right eye. She broke his glasses and cut her hand in the process but could seriously care less.

"This is all _your_ fault, Toerag Potter!" yelled Lily.

"If it wasn't for you, Black and Pettigrew always picking on him just because he's in Slytherin, this wouldn't have happened! I hate you more than You-Know-Who, and I wouldn't date you even if you were the last man on this planet! Go to hell, you and all of your Marauders. And don't _ever_ speak to me again!"

She whirled around, leaving a bleeding Potter and shocked housemates, and went to lock herself in her room. Mary and Lucia wouldn't dare bothering her after the scene that just happened. They were there after all.

Just as she finished hiding her diary, a timid knock to the door pulled her out of her daydream.

"It's opened", she snapped.

Mary slowly walked in, judging Lily's face, making sure that she wouldn't punch her or go wild on her before speaking.

"Lily... Severus Snape is at he portrait. He wishes to speak with you."

"Tell him I'm done excusing him. I'm not going down there."

"It's just that he threatened to sleep right there if you don't show up. Either way, you'll have to face him. Just go, listen to him. You don't have to forgive him."

Mary turned around, exited the room, leaving the bedroom door opened. Lily thought a bit over what her friend said and had to agree. She _would_ have to face him at some point. If not now, in Potions class. Might as well be now. She slowly made her way downstairs. Once in the common room, the students made way for her to pass, too shocked to talk to her. From the corner of her eye, she saw Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin huddled together, trying to fix Potter's glasses. Nobody else dared helping him.

Lily made her way through the Fat Lady's portrait, and just like Mary said, Severus Snape was sitting in front of it, his head buried in his knees.

"I don't have all night", she said in an icy tone. "Mary told me you threatened to sleep here if I didn't come down and talk to you. Speak!"

Severus winced at the tone Lily used. It was a tone she used on anybody else but never him. _I deserve it_, he thought.

"I would have. Lily, I'm so sorry I said that! It just..."

"Slipped out?"

"Yeah!... No!... I mean..."

Disgusted, the teenage girl turned to walk back in the common room.

"I saw you s mile at Potter's bullying, Lily!", Severus yelled desperately. "I saw you smile and thought that you found funny to see your best friend, hanging upside down like that! How do you think that made me feel?"

Lily stopped, just as she was about to whisper the password and tried to remember exactly what happened at the lake. Images passed through her mind; Potter laughing, her yelling at the idiot, Sirius edging Potter to continue, Pettigrew almost wetting his pants in delight over what was happening, Lupin reading a book... and a tiny smile appearing on her face. She turned to face Severus.

"I did smile, Severus. But not at what they were doing to you. I smiled at Potter's lame attempt to make me go out with him. He had told me before the exam that he would find a way, and I guess what was it."

Both teenagers stood there, thinking everything over. Severus deeply regretted calling Lily a Mudblood and clearly saw that it was a misunderstanding of body language. Yet, he was boiling because Potter was still trying to get to Lily. She was too good for that bully! Lily didn't know what to think of the whole ordeal. Yeah, it was a misunderstanding but the word still echoed in her mind, as sharp as it was spoken hours before.

"Lily... I'm so sorry."

She turned her head away for a few seconds and then...

"Prove it, Severus. Prove to me that I'm not a Mudblood. That you're not like your housemates. That you're qualified to be my friend. That you're better than a whole lot of people."

Seeing hope, Severus jumped and kneeled in front of the girl he fell in love with when they were just children.

"How?"

"You figure it out. You're smart, you should find the solution. You have until Christmas."

"But that is months away! You won't speak to me all that time?"

"No. I need proof Severus. Without me by your side, you should make a clearer decision. Christmas is in six months. That's a short time compared to a lifetime without speaking to each other."

With that, she took her leave. After the portrait closed behind her, Severus just stared blankly at the Fat Lady.

"Honey, you know what to do", said Fat Lady.

Severus scowled, got back up to his feet and walked away. He knew what to do. Wouldn't be an easy task. But he would get Lily back this Christmas.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - The First Day of Vacations - Severus**

**This is the second chapter, obviously. I tried to make my grammar better but I'm sorry if it's all messed up. As usual, I owe nothing. Remember to review!**

This year, unlike the previous years, Mr and Mrs Evans didn't brought me home. Lily must have had told them something, I don't know what, but they all left in a hurry, leaving me stranded on platform 9 3/4. So, i ended up in Muggle London, waiting for a taxi to drive by. When one finally stopped in front of me, I gave it the address of the Leaky Cauldron. The drive was short, thankfully, because I didn't have that much muggle money on me. Once at the pub, I walked toward the nearest fireplace, shoved some floo powder in it, and yelled my destination.

Mum was quite surprised to see me home so early. She literally dropped the plate she was washing... the muggle way.

"Severus, why are you home so early? I didn't expect you here for another four hours".

"Hello Mother, I drawled. Nice to see you too. To answer your question, I decided to go through the Floo network." I took a quick look around. "Father isn't here?"

Mother turned to the broken plate and proceeded to pick up the larger pieces carefully. She threw them in the garbage disposal, picked the broom up and swept the remaining parts before finally answering me.

"Your father is currently at the pub, most likely. He should be back within an hour or so, he never miss an occasion to comment on my cooking. Please bring your trunk to your room. And remember to remove the cape, the muggle that drove you to the Leaky Cauldron probably thought you were a lunatic. The less of Hogwarts your father sees, the better. Come on now, hurry up!"

I scowled but still did as told. It was true, I did forget to remove my travelling cape. I grudgingly brought my trunk to my room.

When I opened the door, the sight of a very dusty room greeted me. Made me wish I was back in my dorm room. Obviously, Mother hadn't put a toe in here since September first. Absolutely disgusting. I set my trunk to the foot of my bed and my want on my nightstand, but not before sweeping the layer of dust off of it. My cape's sleeve turned grey. My scowl went deeper, if possible.

I took off my cape and school uniform and dumped them in the laundry basket by my closet door. I then opened my closet and found the very few muggle clothing that I owned. They were all Father's old clothes, most of them ripped at the seams or at the elbows.

I grabbed a black tshirt and a pair of faded jeans. Putting them on, I see that the jeans are getting shorter. I was very glad to notice that; it meant that I was getting taller than the old man.

"Severus, Mother yelled. What are you doing up there?"

I rolled my eyes and turned around to face the door, looking around the room while doing so.

"I just changed, Mother. And looking at the state of the room, I think I should be doing some sweeping...and laundry, I added after looking at my sheets."

"Oh dear, I forgot to clean your room before your arrival again?"

She walked in the bedroom, looked around, as if to make sure I was the only one in there and pulled out her wand.

I gapped at her, I haven't seen her use her wand in years...well...never saw her use it.

"Scourgify", she said while making a half circle around herself. Within seconds, my room was back in its black and green colors, and the sheets on my bed were back to black.

"Well, she said with a satisfied sigh, that wasn't as hard as I expected. Oh my!" she stared at me. "Severus, you've grown! Those jeans don't fit you anymore".

"You don't say", I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Severus Tobias Snape, don't you speak to me in that tone! We're going to do some muggle clothes shopping tomorrow. And stop rolling your eyes at me. The thrift store downtown might have something for you to wear. You obviously don't fit in your father's clothes anymore."

A loud bang coming from the kitchen made us both jump.

"Eileen! Where are ya, ya blasted piece of waste of space? Where's my dinner? Is that freak-show son of yours back? EILEEN!"

Mother winced and called back to Tobias. "Coming!"

I rolled my eyes and sat on my bed. Mother turned to me, her eyes sharp.

"Be in the kitchen in five minutes, not a second more. I don't want to break any fight between the two of you tonight. So be sure to behave!"

With those words, she turned and rushed to the kitchen. Within five seconds, I heard my father yelling at her and Mother angrily snapping at him. Home sweet home.

When the five minutes time span was up, I scowled and made my way to my parents. Father was sitting at the beaten table while mother was putting the last touches on supper.

"Oh, so you ARE back, you filthy scum. Well, don't just stand there. Fetch the plates and cutlery, the table won't make itself."

I swore under my breath but did as told. I won't continue about the dreadful supper we had, but it was very unpleasant.

After supper, I ran back to my room, determined to avoid my father. I lied on my bed and turned my head to face the window. On the other side of the river, I could see Lily's house. I wondered what she was doing. She was obviously home by now, I could see the lights in her house.

She gave me until Christmas to prove to her that the Dark Arts weren't ruling my life. To have Lily's friendship back, that meant ignoring some of the few friends I had in Slytherin and renouncing the silent pledge I took with them to join the Dark Lord's army. I wanted Lily back enough for that. I admitted to myself when I was twelve that I loved her. I became friends with Avery and Mulciber after overhearing them talk about the Death Eater's way. They were walking about how, soon, Mudbloods would all die under the Dark Lord's rule and Hogwarts would be one hundred per cent Pureblooded. I understood that it meant that Lily would die one day, and I couldn't' allow it.

Avery and Mulciber made me join them after seeing me read a book stolen from the Restriction Section in the Library about the Dark Arts. I was happy that they trusted me, that meant that I could protect Lily from their evil plan. I just had to play my cards right. But it all went down the drain after what Potter did to me after the DADA exam.

I got up and walked to the window. I leaned against the frame, folded my arms, sighed and looked toward Lily's house again. The night's breeze came in the room, making my hair wave gently.

"Six months. I will get you back, Lily Evans. I love you", I spoke into the night.

The breeze somehow got stronger and for a minute, it felt as if the wind brought my words toward the Evans house. Maybe Lily had heard them?

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